Before I enter upon this subject, I first mention the following. Men give love to get sex and women give sex to get love. Generalizing of course. In this way they are both really at odds with each other and not at all in a harmonious relationship. In order to learn to love you MUST avoid petting and even hugging and kissing profusely before you are married. At first you MUST learn to communicate and learn to appreciate the character of the other. If you do not, your relationship and marriage will turn to shambles. When times get tough–and that will happen–and your relationship is put to the test; it will not be saved by the bed, but by loving self sacrifice. Men tend to be egoists and women tend to be on the side of self sacrifice and both tend to go far in this. The bible calls men up to love their wives with all the power of their will and heart (agape love) and to live with her according to understanding and tender appreciation. Sex is not a good basis for a marital relationship. Personally I failed in almost all of this.
Therefore it is a good thing if a guy first learns to keep his sex drive under control and not to think that his masculinity depends on sex alone. He MUST learn to give emotional warmth literotica. Sex without love is selfish lust and it is a form of masturbation or even statutory rape. The idea of consenting adults (nowadays also at a very early age) is a male invention to keep women that do not know better under control. In times of so-called sexual liberation almost always the women are the victims and the children will be so later. The best thing a man can do for his children is in the first place to really love their mother. As the marriage progresses in time men tend to become embittered and women tend to get disappointed accordingly. Also a man tends to take frustrations incurred on the job or in life out on his wife and the woman will lose her friendly appreciation for him and often will rebel in subtle ways and later openly and the man will feel inclined to go to the public women or to keep a mistress.
Personally I give preference to natural methods of preventing too many pregnancies (such as the Billings method or the basal thermometer when the woman has a stable cycle ((the daughters of Lot knew exactly when they were fertile and as women in the same household, they had the same cycle!)) ), but I do not condemn people that take recourse to prophylectics; for there is a place for these. Those conservative or rebellious women that think they can simply make their husbands abstain for long times, should heed the apostle Paul who warns that the devil will tempt both the woman and the man.
And so I have already begun to talk about sex outside of the bedroom. In conservative circles there is a tendency to suppress the subject of sex. This because people are ashamed and feel guilty. And the latter not without a reason! In this short article I would like to defend the good of a gradual sex education for our children and even for ourselves as adults and that long into the marriage. Obviously most of us need not know what criminal investigators, sexologists or physicians are acquainted with. As far as art, novels and movies are concerned it would be good not to be too explicit and to avoid showing the marriage act; but rather to describe the latter in figurative ways. We would do well not to take advantage of nudity for dubious purposes, but look upon it (I do not mean [soft]porn!) as an artful part of creation; as something that goes beyond the personal sex between a rightful couple. Also, if we are decent about this, young people can be told that this is something the Lord has created.
I remember having been caught by my mother on having bought all kinds of books on sex education, as on my 15th I was already worrying about making my future wife pregnant every year. She lay hold of the books, hid them and took me to my father and he said that I need not worry as things were as easy as in the case of our dog. I was infuriated, comparing me with our dog!
The bible speaks the language of humans is meant for humans and is occupied with those things that are important for humans. Without a doubt this includes sexuality. If you hush this away, only trouble can ensue.
My first book was condemned in my religious circle and it was insisted upon that it be destroyed. Now in this book I pictured and described the blessed situation of Adam and Eve before the fall. I had written that Adam had seen a deer stick his nose in the flank of a doe–not going further than that–and that he did not find a partner for himself. I did not even employ words like ‘breast’, let alone that I referred to more intimate parts. I attempted to explain that the N.T. states that we are of like feelings as Elijah and that one can legitimately transfer the application of that to Solomon’s Song where he compares the breasts of his beloved to the whelps of a doe, or to clusters of grapes, and her stature to a palm tree that he would climb and whose fruits he would consume; but my pleas fell on deaf ears. “Be drunk with the breasts of the wife of thy youth at all times,” Solomon said. But if you say or write that publicly–even though the bible itself does so–then you are a sinner on his way to hell.